Speaking the truth in love – What do we need to know about ourselves?
Ephesians 4: 14 – 16
We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knitted together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.
Reflection
I was ordained in 1992 and, over the years, have seen many changes in the Church. My initial formation built resilience, skills, and support intended to last a lifetime in a denominational setting with little help and within local congregations often experiencing trauma. Now, in a very different denomination, I see our colleges put great emphasis on reflective practice where ordinands are encouraged to learn from both mistakes and successes in the quest for greater self-awareness. Once ordained, all ministers in active ministry are required to engage in pastoral supervision which helps us know ourselves better. I wonder how different my earlier years in ministry might have been with those resources and emphases.
Paul’s curious phrase “speaking the truth in love” is something that the Church is not always very good at. Sometimes we let love stop us from truthfully speaking, at other times we speak truthfully but not lovingly. Reflective practice and pastoral supervision only work if those engaged in them can both lovingly and truthfully speak and recognise their strengths and weaknesses. Such recognition helps ministers, if we wish, to work more effectively and more ably. It can be hard to have to manage our own loneliness, doubts, frustrations, worries, and desires amid ministry; a failure to recognise and name those things can lead to unbalanced and, at times, dangerous ministry.
Over the last 10 or so years the URC has become much better at enabling loving truth telling; all those policies about the discipline of ministers and office holders, about problem solving, and the funding we are putting into a listening and reconciliation process all speak of a church that wishes to speak the truth in love so that we may flourish and avoid doing harm. All who are involved in any form of ministry need people to tell us the truth – even when that can sting. Greater self-awareness leads to better and safer ministry where God’s people can grow in grace and service of others.
Prayer
Speak the truth to us O God, that we might know ourselves better, learn from both our mistakes and successes, and nurture a church where Your truthful love is embodied, that your people might safely thrive. Amen.
Today’s writer
The Revd Andy Braunston is the URC’s Minister for Digital Worship and a member of the Peedie Kirk in Orkney.
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